Bug Night #4: please don’t stand so close to me


“Do I have detritus on my face, Mr. White Coat?” she asked, “I used your method of cleaning the sieve and I am afraid that I might have sprayed some sample on me.”

The White Coat man tried to look and see but the light wasn’t good. Someone—or something—was blocking the light. It looked like a walking mat of detritus with bug eyes and two teeth that were large yet comical. It didn’t seem threatening but the man went on the assumption that it was sentient and addressed it as a fellow Bug Nighter.

“Please don’t stand so close to me,” said the White Coat, “We all need some personal space in here with so many Bug Nighters in this small laboratory.” The woman nodded in agreement—as best she could with her neck craned for inspection.

“Hey, it’s not like I sting,” said the walking mass of detritus, “What are you, the Laboratory Police?”

The man and woman were taken aback. They had not expected such an aggressive posture.

“We just need a little room to help all of the Bug Nighters,” said the woman gently, “Are you new here?” She had regained her composure after learning that she did not have sample debris on her face.

“I am sorry,” said the new Bug Nighter, “What you are doing is so interesting and all I ever wanted in life was to learn how to identify macroinvertebrates.”

We hope that you all share the walking detritus’s objective for this evening.

The doors open at six. Please knock on the window if you arrive a bit late. We can’t wait to see you there.