Security issues: Bug Night #6

It’s a changing world but the security guard did what he could to walk the line between safety and friendliness. He had known the White Coats since the beginning when they first started in the laboratory nearly a quarter century ago.

He poked his head in at the laboratory to see if he was needed and to say hello.

“Everyone say hello to Glenn,” sang the female White Coat.

“Hello,” repeated the Bug Night people.

“Everyone say ‘thank you,’ to Glenn,” shouted the male White Coat.

“Thank you, Glenn” droned the Bug Night people.

Glenn went on with his duties for the evening. He liked the Bug Night people. They were well behaved and, for the most part, cleared the building by 8:59 PM each Wednesday evening. They also left the laboratory in a cleaner condition than they found it, which was helpful all around.

“I wish that we could stay longer,” said the obsessive Bug Night-er, “Why can’t we go until 10:00 PM?”

“I think that you know the answer,” said the female White Coat, “We can’t overstay our welcome and campus security and safety are very important.”

The Obsessive Bug Night-er grumbled to himself—or was it to the bugs in his petri dish? No one but the female White Coat was listening. Everyone else was chattering giddily about anal prolegs and pedipalps. This was the one night of the week that they were in a situation to say such things aloud.

The female White Coat furrowed her brow. She could hear clipped phrases from the Obsessive One including, “You’re a big one!” “You want me to stay, don’t you? and “I bet you could do some damage with those tarsi.” Every time, the female White Coat began to report these disturbing snippets to the male White Coat, she was called away to check a petri dish or verify a caddisfly identification.

The night ended uneventfully. The Obsessive One seemed fine. He cooperated with the hourly stretches and exercises, heeded the one-hour warning, and seemed unusually resigned to the 8:30 PM ramp down. The female White Coat was unsettled but everyone left peacefully and satisfied with their evening’s labours.

At 9:05 PM that night, Glenn drove into the parking lot.

“Good old Bug Night people,” he thought, “They are long gone and everything is clean—just like they promised—now I can go home and relax.”

Everything was dark but the outside door appeared to be ajar and there was an unusual green glow in the corridor.

“Wait a minute,” he said to himself under his breath.

He entered the open door and was met for the last time by a new Bug Night-er.

Security is important: safety first! We will see you on Wednesday, April 3, 2019 beginning at 6:00 PM sharp.