Water quality news Archive

“Do I have detritus on my face, Mr. White Coat?” she asked, “I used your method of cleaning the sieve and I am afraid that I might have sprayed some sample on me.”

The White Coat man tried to look and see but the light wasn’t good. Someone—or something—was blocking the light. It looked like a walking mat of detritus with bug eyes and two teeth that were large yet comical. It didn’t seem threatening but the man went on the assumption that it was sentient and addressed it as a fellow Bug Nighter.

“Please don’t stand so close to me,” said the White Coat, “We all need some personal space in here with so many Bug Nighters in this small laboratory.” The woman nodded in agreement—as best she could with her neck craned for inspection.

“Hey, it’s not like I sting,” said the walking mass of detritus, “What are you, the Laboratory Police?”

The man and woman were taken aback. They had not expected such an aggressive posture.

“We just need a little room to help all of the Bug Nighters,” said the woman gently, “Are you new here?” She had regained her composure after learning that she did not have sample debris on her face.

“I am sorry,” said the new Bug Nighter, “What you are doing is so interesting and all I ever wanted in life was to learn how to identify macroinvertebrates.”

We hope that you all share the walking detritus’s objective for this evening.

The doors open at six. Please knock on the window if you arrive a bit late. We can’t wait to see you there.

It had been barely a week since the last Bug Night and the volunteer was already yearning for me macroinvertebrates. “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana,” he said.

“Snow flies like a colembola,” said the spry and spritely springtail, “Is it safe for Bug Night-ers to come and identify us tonight?”

One of the the white coats seemed genuinely concerned, “Because there is nothing that we want more than your personal safety, we are cancelling Bug Night this evening.”

“We hope for better weather and a refreshed and enthusiastic Bug Night group next week,” said the colembola, “I will be waiting…”

Even in denatured alcohol, her appearance had not lost its stunning impact.

“Once I was a a fresh and supple pupa; a dewy ingénue with my entire life—a staggering fifteen days—ahead of me,” she said, “Now, it ends like this with a frustrated volunteer trying in vain to identify me.”

“But, I, um,” the volunteer started, “I’m bad with head capsules, ma’am, I, umm…”

“Ma’am?,” she hissed indignantly, “Stop your blubbering and look at tab nine in Macroinvertebrates of the Upper Merrimack. I used to be famous throughout the watershed and now you, a mere volunteer, don’t even recognize me?”

The volunteer looked up from his stereo microscope and frantically tried to get the attention of one of the white-coated Bug Night proctors swishing through the laboratory. Amazingly, everyone else’s heads were down, seemingly content with their own identifications, which did not seem nearly as demanding as his own.

“It’s as plain as the forceps in your trembling hand,” the bug continued, “I am…”

Just then, one of the white-coats startled him by shouting the one-hour warning. He had only looked away for a second and when he tried to find her—whoever she was—again in his petri dish, she was gone.

As time goes by, you realize that all that you really want to do is identify macroinvertebrates. Remember, we’ll always have Bug Nights.

Bug Night begins at 6:00 PM on Wednesday, February 8, 2017. If you arrive a little late, knock on the door or laboratory windows with your pedipalps. A white-coat or one of your peers will assist you with your entry.

The studious volunteer peered through the stereoscope. He saw immediately that something stood out from the other specimens. It seemed familiar somehow; something from his childhood or perhaps another childhood. What was even more distinct about the specimen was that it appeared to be looking back at him. He looked closer and recognized her, albeit vaguely.

“Wait a minute, haven’t I seen you before? I know your face. You’re, ah, um…,” he stuttered, “You used to be big in petri dishes.”

“I am big,” she said, “It’s the petri dishes that got small.”

He thought, how could this be? A famous, albeit forgotten, bug [in]star in his very own petri dish at Bug Nights in the St. Paul’s School laboratory. She seemed sad yet haughty as if all that she had left was the dignity of what she once was. What kind of life could this be for her? She was reduced to being but one instar among many, sharing the stereoscope limelight. He was unsure what to do. As he was about to motion for one of the swiftly moving white-coated Bug Night proctors, the bug spoke again.

“You see, this is my life! It always will be! Nothing else! Just us and the stereoscopes, and all those wonderful volunteers…,” she cried, “All right, Mr. Volunteer, I’m ready for my close-up.”

Bug Night #2: February 1, 2017 beginning at 6:00 PM. Please knock on the door or window if you come a bit later or the door is locked.

You can be a B-movie star at the Twenty-second Annual BUG NIGHTS!

Lights, camera, (bugs, denatured alcohol), and… action!

Since 1995, volunteers including anglers, students, teachers, paddlers, and many others interested in the health of the Upper Merrimack River and general river ecology began learning about these fascinating creatures and what they tell us about river conditions.

Your work as a citizen scientist helps determine the health of the Upper Merrimack watershed.

Training is free, fun, and a great way to spend quality time with family and friends as well as an opportunity to make new acquaintances.

Upper Merrimack Monitoring Program Bug Nights 2017 sessions are held on most Wednesdays from late January through mid-May at St. Paul’s School.

This year, the doors open at 6:00 pm and we will exit the laboratory promptly at 9:00 pm. 

An instructional training and refresher class will be conducted during the first session on January 25, 2017.

Refresher and additional training will be provided at each session.

All equipment and alcohol (denatured preserving alcohol only) are provided—just bring yourself and a friend.

Be sure to check www.MerrimackRiver.org to be sure that we are in session that evening. 

Want to be part of the fun? Start by clicking here to download this year’s “Bug Night of the Living Dead” flyer for further details…

Everyone could feel it from the moment they entered the building on Wednesday evening. There was a jubilant and giddy air in the St. Paul’s School laboratory. Was it the beautiful cake that the Program Director and Sampling Supervisor had procured for the Bug Night volunteers? Was it the lovely spring weather and it being light out so late in the evening? Was it that there was a real possibility that the assembled citizen scientists could complete all of the 2015 field season’s specimens’ identifications?

Whatever the reason, the citizen scientists moved through the laboratory. From selecting their favorite stereo microscope to collecting their forceps, pipettes, dissecting needles, and squirt bottles of alcohol, their movements seemed like second nature; the result of habits honed over a long laboratory season. Some of the volunteers eschewed their identification keys saying that they knew every bug in the book. Soon, a quiet concentration settled over the laboratory. The silence spoke volumes about the focus of these dedicated volunteers.

“I think that I have identified all of my macroinvertebrates,” called out one of the more confident and hungry volunteers as if at a bingo night in a church basement, “Can we eat cake, now?”

“Not so fast,” said an unfamiliar voice, “What about me?”

The once confident volunteer shrieked, “My arm—what’s on my arm?”

“I’m on your arm and I have not yet been identified,” came the raspy reply.

The laboratory went silent when everyone saw the large, six-legged creature crawling up the arm of the sugar-deprived volunteer.

“What am I,” the insect asked, “Chopped liver?”

The Program Manager and Sampling Supervisor both knew that this was no time for cake and the right time for diplomacy. They approached the macroinvertebrate.

“We’re so sorry,” they said, “I don’t think that Gary saw you. He rarely uses a ‘scope and has had his face in a petri dish for most of the night so he may not have noticed you on his arm.” The insect harrumphed and moved to the next work station where a volunteer had set out not only a ‘scope but an identification key. Dutifully, Claudette began to work on the new bug’s identification.

“Well,” he said, “My name is Adam and I think that I am quite easy to identify.” Claudette closed her identification key.

“OK,” said the Sampling Supervisor, who was quickly flipping through chapters of McCafferty, “It says here that you are terrestrial and like sugar.”

“Yes,” agreed Adam, “and your cake will do for a start.”

“It will have to do for an end as well,” said the Program Manager, “Tonight is the last Bug Night—it’s the end for all of us for 2016.”

“I hope not,” said Adam, “I invited all of my friends.”

Be sure to be there for the last of the bugs and the first of the cake. The doors click open for the last time this year on Wednesday, May 25 at 6:15 PM. ‪#‎BugNights

Slowly, the Sampling Supervisor and volunteer circled the macroinvertebrate.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said the volunteer.

“It looks familiar,” said the Sampling Supervisor, “I know I’ve seen it before.” He asked the Program Manager to take a look. She recognized it as well. She stared at the bug and grew silent. Perhaps she was confusing Bug Nights with an episode of Star Trek or Doctor Who? She kept those thoughts to herself.

“You can start with the McCafferty,” the Program Manager said to the Sampling Supervisor, “I can go through Merritt and Cummins to see if it is in there.”

Everyone groaned. No one liked going through Merritt and Cummins.

“Excuse me,” said the macroinvertebrate, “I might be able to help.” Everyone gasped. Not only did the bug speak perfect English but “it” was, in fact, not an “it” but clearly a “she,” and addressed everyone in a distinctly feminine voice.

“My name is Dot and the last thing I remember is a misstep off a leaf on a tree by the Merrimack River,” said the She-bug, “I fell into a red bucket full of cold water and other macroinvertebrates and then I found myself here under scrutiny.”

“I don’t like water or rocks,” she continued, “I must say that I am not entirely comfortable with this situation and would like to return to my leaf.”

“Cancel the McCafferty and Merritt and Cummins,” said the Sampling Supervisor, “We have one less bug this evening but have met a new friend.”

All of the volunteers, including those who had conducted field collection work apologized for their neutral gender assumption.

They sent Dot on her way with a mini KitKat bar for the road (fortunately one of the younger volunteers had missed the last KitKat during his unauthorized raid on the candy bag). Everyone waved good-bye to Dot, as she headed out the laboratory door to spendor in the grass.

Don’t worry, volunteers, there are still plenty of other bugs. We’ll see you on Wednesday, May 18, 2016 at 6:15 PM. ‪#‎BugNights

The man stumbled through the ruins of the city. He was desperate to find anything familiar to help him make his way in this post-apocalyptic world. He was ready to grasp on to the slightest thread that would bring the meaning of his former life back to him: the ghosts of street grids, a landmark, a familiar face. He climbed through the vestiges of his life—corrugated metal roof sheets, woods, fields. Nothing looked familiar. He was despondent. Bereft. Lost.

“I beg your pardon,” said the tractor-trailer-sized insect, “Do you remember me? I used to be at Bug Nights and want to find it again.”

The man was struck dumb. How could such a large insect have appeared so suddenly and quietly? It must be forty feet long. Still, he thought, any port in a storm…

“I don’t remember any macroinvertebrates as macro as you,” the man said.

“I wasn’t always this large,” said the giant bug, “But I like it.”

“Are you still an herbivore?” asked the man.

“I am considering all options,” replied the insect, “But right now, I’ll settle for you pointing me in the direction of Bug Nights.”

All roads lead to Bug Nights: We’ll see you on Wednesday, May 11, 2016 at 6:15 PM. ‪#‎BugNights

“I’m not sure that I want to go to Bug Night tonight,” the volunteer whined, “It’s May and the weather is so nice this time of year.”

“Yes,” agreed the Program Director, “It’s a nice, spring night but there are a lot of bugs outside.”

“There are a lot of bugs inside, too,” countered the volunteer.

“Yes,” said the Sampling Supervisor, “But the bugs inside don’t bite.”

We have only a few nights left together and there are plenty of bugs to go around. We are within reach of finishing all of our samples this year.

We’ll see you on Wednesday, May 4, 2016 at 6:15 PM. ‪#‎BugNights

“Get the dichotomous key,” he said.

Clearly he was stumped. She had given up several minutes ago. The Bug Night volunteer felt lost and hovered nearby. It was obviously a macroinvertebrate—one of the most macro either of them had ever seen.

They assumed the positions, she read the key and he, possessing superior eyesight, examined the huge insect’s morphology.

“Six legs?” she asked.
“Check,” he responded without hesitation.
“Long, segmented antennae?”
“Check.”
“Head capsule well-formed and distinct from the thorax?
“Check.”
“Full body length does not exceed two millimetres?”
He hesitated. “Metres or millimetres?” he asked.
“Millimetres,” she responded.
“Let’s start over,” he said, “We’re going to need a bigger key.”

Let’s continue or work together on Wednesday, April 27, 2016. The door clicks open at 6:15 PM.
‪#‎BugNights

Anyone who even glanced at her face could see that she was a little worried.

“I’m the only one here and I feel like the bugs have had their way with me already,” she said waveringly. Clearly, she was overwhelmed. Six legs grasped her body as large mandibles hovered over her head. She had no idea to what family this particular insect belonged. Was it an unusual instar? Was it pupating? Had the specimen degraded beyond identification?

“I hope that this is the only difficult insect that comes my way this evening.”

The Bug Night People were supportive. “Don’t worry, we will work through our samples and wait for you as you march in ‘figure eights’ through the room to our stations” they said, “It’s just another Wednesday night at St. Paul’s School, after all.”

She was buoyed by their supportive enthusiasm although she still felt some weight on her shoulders as she moved through the laboratory.

“I know that I can’t measure measure up to Steve’s superior eyesight and identification skills,” she said.

The doors click open at St. Paul’s School on Wednesday, April 20, 2016 at 6:15 PM. ‪#‎BugNights